What's left unsaid
by DaniKi
Summary: 5x10 tag, The show's writers wouldn't let them say goodbye to each other so I helped them out a little. Ch. 2 and Kensi's coming back
1. Chapter 1

**Ladies and gentlemen, they have a THING! It's finally official… wohoo! But as glad as I was because of the talk they had by the ambulance, the sadder (and in tears) I was at the end. Deeks looked like a lost little boy standing there all alone. So to find my peace for Daniela's and therefore Kensi's upcoming absence from the show I had to write this peace. Enjoy!**

**Last note: Thanks to all the members who helped me out last time I asked for a summary. Special thanks to Kyra73 for the little hint;)**

* * *

She simply hated Granger! How dare he put her on a long-term mission right now? He really has the worst timing ever! So here she was following him to the waiting car without a chance to collect herself and without telling Deeks that she was sorry. She had been looking forward to their second – or was it first real – date and she had been so brave earlier by telling him what she wanted but that she needed him to be patient. And he had looked so happy. Those blue eyes of his had reflected all his emotions. She wanted to kiss him right there, hug him whatever just touch him in any way to feel him. Just like she had last night. He had done a bold move by telling her he wanted to be with her at his place but she had followed. They had gone to his place and had talked and touched and kissed for hours. Proof of that were the dark circles under his eyes this morning and the fact that she was still wearing the same shirt as the day before. Of course, Callen and Sam had noticed but they hadn't said anything further and she was glad for that. She had been confused all day. Things were awkward this morning. None of them knew what to do or how to react. They had talked, they had argued, she had slapped him in the face, she had given him her dad's knife to keep him safe, she had finally admitted they had a thing and they had agreed on a date tonight – all of this in just one day. And she was exhausted because of all this. She had looked forward to spending a quiet evening with him maybe straightening some more things out. She just wanted to be close to him, she wanted to feel him around her again. But then Granger and Hetty had come and had reassigned her. She didn't like this – she like this at all. She had so many regrets the moment she entered the black SUV with Granger she had a hard time not to break down crying.

"Agent Blye, you okay?" Granger brought her out her thoughts.

"What? Yeah, sure, I'm fine," she lied.

"As I said before this mission is Level 4 – classified. Only a few people will know where you are and what you do."

"Yeah, okay, this just came so sudden. It would have been nice to have some more time to…"

"…to say goodbye to Det. Deeks?" he asked knowing exactly what was going on. He was neither stupid nor blind.

"To prepare," she said instead. Yes, it would have been nice to a few more minutes with him.

They fell silent after that and she thought about anything she could do to let him know.

* * *

Deeks couldn't believe what Hetty had just told him. Kensi was gone, nobody knew for how long. She didn't even have the chance to tell him herself. Or didn't she want him to know? No, that's not possible. It was just some hours ago that she had told him she wanted 'them'. She had admitted there was a thing and she needed him to give her time. He would give her all the time in the world. Kensi Blye was definitely worth waiting for and fighting for. Like the little guy in the ambulance had told him – help her off the frozen lake but do it slowly and look left and right so that you don't miss anything. And he would do that. He would go to the end of the world with and for her. But now he was standing in the middle of the empty bullpen not knowing where to go and what to do. He felt hopeless and alone. Even though they seemed to be on the good side for now there was so much more they still needed to talk about. He had been happy when she had asked him about tonight and he had been looking forward ever since. He had texted her some minutes before he arrived back at the mission and his heart had beaten twice its normal pace when he had entered only to find her gone. Worst part was that he didn't know when she would be back, how long he would have to wait to see her beautiful face again. God, he missed her already and he wanted nothing more than to have her back in his arms again to feel her, to smell her, just surround himself with her.

He suddenly felt his phone vibrate and his heart skipped a beat when he opened the message.

_Hey Max, this is Fern. I have to leave for a while but I'll be back. Still need you to help me off the frozen lake. *F_

This was probably the last chance for her to get into contact with him so he had to be quick to reply.

_Don't worry Fern, I'll walk every step on the ice with you. Stay save out there and come back to me asap. Will miss U. *M_

They both still hated that new mission but at least they knew where they stood with each other and had something really good to look forward to as soon as they were back together.

* * *

**I'm pretty sure my mind will soon come up with my version of when they will meet again so I leave this open for a 2****nd**** chapter… but that's it for now. Like it? Didn't like it?**


	2. Chapter 2

**In this chapter Kensi will be on her way back but I decided not to give her a much needed break but instead through her into the next assignment right away, may not be all too logical but somehow I liked the idea. I hope you, dear readers, like it, too;) **

* * *

"Morning," Deeks mumbled when he entered the bullpen. As usual his eyes flew over Kensi's desk hoping to find any trace of her being back. But yet again, he was disappointed when he found nothing. He slumped into his own chair and sighed heavily.

He caught Sam watching him from the side.

"Isn't that the same shirt, you had on yesterday?" Sam asked him.

Before he could answer Callen joined in.

"You slept at Kensi's place again?"

They weren't agents for nothing, right? They noticed such things and they had seen him almost every day for the past three months. Deeks didn't get a chance to explain his actions though, even though he was quite sure they wouldn't understand him anyway.

A whistle from the staircase interrupted them.

"Come on up, guys, we got a case," Eric yelled in their direction.

Sam and Callen got up and walked to the stairs while Deeks was still in his chair fighting an internal battle of whether this was a good thing or not. On the one hand a case meant that they had something to do and that he didn't have too much time to think about Kensi and where she probably was right now. On the other hand it would be another case where he didn't have her by his side to watch each other's back. Sure, Eric and Nell sometimes came along but it surely wasn't the same. They weren't field agents. They would usually go out with them when they needed a tech for undercover work. It simply wasn't the same without Kensi there.

It's been almost 3 months now and all of them missed her. Callen and Sam missed their little sister and were worried about her safety. But Deeks – he missed his partner, his best friend, his girlfriend. He was just miserable without her. He started sleeping at her house from time to time whenever he had a really bad day and missed her so much that it hurt. He found it comforting to surround himself with her; even it was by just sleeping in her bed. He would lay down on the left side of the bed imagining she laid on the right side with him. He was quite sure that if it weren't for this reassignment they would have shared bed more often than not by now.

With a heavy sigh he got up from his desk and followed his two colleagues upstairs not knowing that someone else was currently briefed on exactly the same case while sitting on a plane back home.

* * *

It's been three months in hell for Kensi and she was more than happy to be back home in a short while. But instead of letting her take a breath and maybe some time for herself Granger had handed her a case file and told her she needed to be ready for this as soon as the plane landed at LAX. Her first instinct was to throw the file back at him telling Granger she needed to do something first namely get back to her partner. Three damn months had passed since they had exchanged that last text message before she had to leave. She didn't have any chance to get into contact with him even though she desperately needed to hear his voice again. She missed him so much and she prayed every single day that they could continue their thing exactly where they had left off. He had told her he would go every step with her and she hoped that hadn't changed over the past months.

She opened her mouth to protest but Granger only gave her a warning glare.

"Be ready for this, agent Blye."

So she closed her mouth again, opened the file and started reading. She read about an arms dealer who preferred to do his business in an upper class club in downtown LA. He always had the VIP section reserved for him and tonight he was supposed to meet a business man to finalize a weapons deal. When she read the name of the assigned undercover agent who was supposed to play the part of the business man her heart suddenly pounded faster – Detective Marty Deeks, LAPD.

When she read further she found out that Sam would pose as his bodyguard, Callen would stay at the bar watching from the distance. Eric and Nell would overwatch from their seats at OPS and then she read her own name. She would be posing as the business man's wife. She wasn't sure she liked this. They hadn't spoken in three months but she was supposed to slip into an undercover role tonight without even having the chance to talk to him as herself.

"I know you would have preferred to meet with your team beforehand but we only have tonight for this. He'll be gone by tomorrow morning. I had someone send some clothes for you to wear tonight and we'll drive to the club as soon as we land. Your teammates will be there already and you have to slip into the role immediately. There's time for everything else later. We cannot afford to fail here, understood?" Granger explained.

"Yes sir," she replied. She didn't really have a choice here.

So she would see Deeks again really soon. That's a good thing but he would be Thomas Blake and she would be Sarah Blake.

* * *

At OSP Eric was in the middle of explaining how they would approach tonight. Hetty interrupted him introducing their alias for the evening.

"Mr. Deeks, you'll be Thomas Blake, a business man who wants to buy these weapons, money is not an issue for him. Mr. Hanna will be your bodyguard," both Sam and Deeks raised an eyebrow at this. "Mr. Callen, you just stay at the bar scanning the surroundings for anything unusual."

All three men nodded and turned to leave.

"Gentlemen," Hetty interrupted them. "Before you go prepare, there's some more so hear me out."

They turned around and tensed up somehow. This didn't sound good.

"Assistant Director Granger said it would be helpful to get a female agent in this, too. Obviously, Ms. Jones doesn't have enough field experience, so Granger decided he would send another agent in. She'll take the part of Sarah Blake, Mr. Blake's wife." Their eyes went wide when they heard this. That's a joke, right? Nobody liked this idea. No surprise Granger came up with that.

"Hetty, we all know we're perfectly capable of doing this alone. We don't need another agent especially not someone we don't know," Callen said speaking for all of them.

"Mr Callen, I heard your opinion now but this is not something I will discuss with you. The agent will meet you at the club."

They all sensed that Hetty would not accept anymore 'opinions' on this and turned to the exit.

"Mr. Deeks," Hetty stopped him from leaving OPS.

"Yes Hetty," he answered not bothering to hide how annoyed he was with this new assignment especially the undercover with another agent part.

"I know this case will be tough for you but nevertheless I ask you to remain professional especially regarding the undercover work you need to do."

"I'm not sure what you mean by that?" Did she not trust him to remain professional with another woman? How could she even think he would do something other than be professional?

"Just do what I asked you to do Mr. Deeks and do not let your emotions cloud your judgment or your actions. Understood?"

"Yes Hetty," he answered though he still wasn't sure what she meant. Did she think he would betray Kensi?


	3. Chapter 3

**To be honest I had some difficulties writing this chapter. Don't ask me why. I knew exactly how I wanted them to meet again but it took me a while to get the words around it. Hope you like it anyway:/**

* * *

Kensi looked at her reflection in the small mirror. Even though she had applied quite some make-up including concealer she still looked tired. Those three months had been awful and she felt drained. Would this be an undercover mission like all those missions before she wouldn't have thought about this too much. But she would see Deeks for the first time in over three months. She didn't even know if he knew she would be there. What if he didn't know? How would he react? They were supposed to do their job even though there were so many things she wanted to tell him. They needed to be professional tonight. What she really wanted to do though, was being close to him. Just touch him, feel his warmth and strength, smell his unique ocean-like smell.

She lost count of the nights she had laid on her cot far away from home thinking about Deeks and their first and so far only night together. She had enjoyed it so much but hated the morning after when they both didn't know how to deal with the change in their… partnership, relationship… whatever it was. There had been nights during the mission where she was absolutely sure he wouldn't wait for her. She was an emotional wreck so why should he put up with that? On other nights she had longed for his touch and had wished she could just hear his voice for a minute. Being away from him had given her the opportunity to get her head clear and by now she knew exactly what she wanted – him. She wanted him so much it scared her yet again. She wanted to be his girlfriend in every sense of the word. She wanted to have a real relationship with him including dinner dates, movie dates, beach walks, romance, waking up with him, going to bed with him, kissing and making love with him and so much more and right now every fiber of her body just wanted to be with him.

'Soon,' she thought 'soon, I'm back where I belong. Just this little assignment and then…'

"Agent Blye, get back to your seat, we gonna land soon." Granger's voice and knocking outside the small bathroom brought her out of her thoughts.

She took a deep breath and left the bathroom getting back to her seat.

* * *

Deeks stood in front of the mirror in OSP straightening the jacket thinking about how weird this situation seemed. Usually, he wouldn't think about this so much. He would simply get dressed in one of the Armani suits purchased by Hetty and would wait for his partner leaving the changing room in yet another dress to kill for. He could almost picture her in a tight fitting, little-too-short dress and high heels that would make her legs seem endless. He gulped hard trying desperately not to think about Kensi's perfect body again. Otherwise he would never be able to get his head straight tonight. He knew whomever Granger had sent to help them out – even though it wasn't necessary – could never compare to his partner.

"Sorry baby, gotta do some undercover work with another wife," he whispered to himself imagining Kensi could hear him. He almost felt the punch he would have received for calling her baby.

* * *

It was a little past 9 when they all got on their assigned positions and Deeks approached the VIP section in the club.

"Any news on our mysterious agent who's supposed to help here?" Deeks asked everybody over the ear wig.

"Nothing yet," came Eric's quick reply. "We're monitoring the entrance though."

"K. Give me a warning when she's here," Deeks said.

"Sure."

Deeks took another deep breath and started acting.

"You must be Mr. Martinez. I'm Thomas Blake. I think we have an appointment to talk about some stuff." Deeks offered the man a handshake while Sam took his position behind him.

"Ah, Mr. Thomas, it's nice to meet you."

Martinez looked from Deeks to Sam and back obviously missing something.

"You looking for something?" Deeks asked him.

"I thought I'd meet your wife, too. It's always nice to have something beautiful to look at while talking about the business."

Deeks laughed nervously, hoping to hear something from Eric about the missing agent.

"Well, she'll be here in a few minutes. She went out shopping and doing some beauty stuff and we agreed to meet here. You know how long women can take to get ready, right?" He hoped Martinez bought this.

"Don't tell me about it man," Martinez laughed and motioned for Deeks to sit down.

Callen let his eyes wander around the room again looking for anything strange and then he saw the female agent Granger had sent. He couldn't believe his eyes but it really was Kensi. She was scanning the room, too and Callen knew the instant she saw Deeks. Her heart seemed to jump out of her chest and there seemed to be a force pulling her towards him. She didn't have eyes for anything or anyone else. He had about two seconds to give Deeks a warning.

"Deeks, she's here. Don't freak…," he said but he didn't need to say more because Deeks' and Kensi's eyes had already found each other.

"Oh my god," Deeks said more to himself than anyone else when he saw her. He thought she was a vision, a trick of his mind, a dream. But it was really Kensi finding her way over to him and she looked absolutely gorgeous. She wore a midnight blue satin dress, showing off her perfect figure. It was quite short and showed a lot of leg and also a lot of cleavage. Her long brown hair flowed over her shoulders framing her face in soft waves. She looked straight into his eyes while she crossed the room.

Martinez had noticed her, too, just like every other male in the room.

"Don't tell me, that's your wife," he said.

"Ahem," Deeks couldn't think straight let alone talk.

Kensi stopped and stood in front of him obviously not quite sure what she should do now. Suddenly, Deeks felt Sam nudging him with his elbow to bring him out of his thoughts.

"Come here baby," Deeks whispered holding out his hand.

She was in his arms in an instant. She clutched his suit jacket with both hands and his arms went around her body. They hugged tight completely lost in each other for some moments.

"You have no idea how good this feels," he whispered only for her to hear.

"Believe me I do," she answered still not willing to let go.

"Hey you lovebirds, how long have you been apart? Seems like an eternity," Martinez interrupted them.

They reluctantly pulled apart remembering where they were.

"You have absolutely no idea," Deeks sighed. "And hey, be honest, would you let her out of your sight for long? I mean, look at her."

Martinez looked up and down her body before extending his hand.

"Where are my manners? I'm Jerry Martinez, it's a pleasure to meet you," he said.

"Sarah Blake," Kensi answered shortly not really comfortable with the looks Martinez gave her.

"Come on, let's sit and order some drinks. Then we can finally talk business," Deeks suggested. He still had a death grip around Kensi's waist not willing to let go.

"Sure," Martinez motioned to some seats and ordered drinks with a wave of his arm.

"You look absolutely stunning," Deeks whispered to Kensi before they sat down as close together as possible. His arm went around her shoulders when she leaned into his side resting one of her hands on his thigh. Both wanted nothing more than being alone right now but they had a job to do. The faster they finished up here the faster they could be alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm better in writing fluff so I end this OP in this chapter, I hope that's alright with you... Enjoy!**

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"So tell me, how long have you two been married? Seeing you greet each other you seem like newlyweds." Martinez asked. But neither Deeks nor Kensi were in the mood for small talk. All they wanted was get out of here as fast as possible.

"Mr. Martinez, to be honest I would rather get down to business. I'm not here to make small talk." Deeks answered his anger rising.

"Deeks, calm down. Don't make him angry or we'll lose him," came Callen's voice over the ear wig.

Kensi couldn't hear Callen talking for she didn't have an ear wig. But she sensed Deeks' emotions and started stroking her hand up and down his thigh to calm him down. It didn't really calm him down though. It only made him want to pull her in his lap and kiss her. So he made her stop by putting his free hand on top of hers. He looked into her eyes for a second hoping she wouldn't misunderstand his gesture. He wanted her to touch him everywhere but not now and not here, this was too distracting.

"Ah I see, you just want to be alone with her. Can't blame you for that." Deeks was grateful that Martinez didn't ask any further questions.

Kensi though felt more and more uncomfortable with each passing minute. Not only that Martinez didn't stop looking her up and down but also Deeks had stopped her hand from moving. Sure, he still had his arms around her shoulders but he wouldn't accept her comforting gesture and this made her sad. She blinked back the tears that threatened to form and tried to concentrate on the op.

"Okay, so how much you wanna pay for those babies," Martinez finally started the business talk.

"As you were probably told, money is not an issue but I would like to see them first." Deeks answered. He was finally playing by the book again. That's how they had planned this earlier.

"Sure, I have them in the back room. Why don't you follow me and your little Mrs. can stay here with my guys enjoying the club?" Deeks felt Kensi instantly tense up.

"I would prefer her to go with us. As well as the big man behind me." Deeks said nodding in Sam's direction.

"Sorry, but it's either you and me or you forget about the deal." Martinez voice held a warning tone all the friendly small talk forgotten.

"Mr. Blake," Sam interrupted their conversation. "It's okay, you go with him, I'll stay here and keep an eye on Sarah." They all knew it was their only choice to get him. They needed Martinez to show the weapons and say he wants to sell them before they could arrest him.

"Okay, I'll come with you… alone," Deeks answered Martinez' request.

They all stood up but before he left Deeks turned to Kensi.

"Honey, I'll be right back, okay?" Deeks leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Fighting the urge to deepen it he pulled back resting his forehead against hers for a moment.

"I'll be here when you come back, I promise," Kensi whispered. Her words held more meaning than anybody around them thought except maybe Sam.

Deeks and Martinez left the VIP section and Kensi let go of his hand reluctantly. She turned to Sam for reassurance and he nodded his head slightly. All they could now was waiting.

It didn't take very long though. Within a few minutes Deeks gave the signal word over the ear wig.

"Go through the door next to the bar, there's a corridor behind it, it's empty. Deeks is in the last room on the left," Eric gave the directions for Sam and Callen. The latter started moving immediately, making eye contact with Sam through the room, who needed to inform Kensi. He laid a hand on her shoulder and spoke softly yet determined: "Kens, move - now."

She stood up from her seat in a rush. "Excuse us for a second, we'll just head to the bar," Kensi told Martinez' men around her. Then she followed Sam trusting him to know where to go. They met Callen in the corridor, drew their weapons and started towards the room Eric had told them.

"We're on our way," Sam said.

"Federal agents, drop your guns, hands up," Callen yelled after Sam had kicked in the door to the room.

Martinez was so shocked he couldn't even protest. When he saw Kensi was among the agents he found his voice again.

"So I guess, you won't come to me when you get tired of your hubby here?"

That was the moment when Deeks couldn't take it anymore. He landed his fist directly in Martinez' face. Sam pulled them apart shoving Martinez in Callen's direction and made sure Deeks wouldn't start another round.

"Kensi, take your partner out of here," Callen ordered. "We take care of the rest in here."

She just nodded and moved over to Deeks. She touched his upper arm with one hand and took a hold of his hand with the other entwining their fingers.

"Come on Deeks," she said softly. He didn't say a word just followed her outside willingly.

The moment they stepped outside Deeks spun her around by their entwined hands and pulled her to his chest. She didn't resist, she just slung her arms around his waist under the suit jacket und laid her head on his chest. Both held on tight as if they would be pulled apart again when they separated. They just stood like this for a few moments neither of them saying a word.

Suddenly Deeks heard the sobs and felt Kensi shaking in his arms. He looked down at her face and saw the tear streaks. All the exhaustion and emotions she had bottled up during the past months came to the surface and she couldn't help the tears falling freely now.

"Ssh, it's okay… I got you," Deeks said soothingly. He strengthened his hold on her again and began stroking her hair in a calming motion.

"I… missed you… so much," she said between sobs.

"I'm here baby, don't worry."

They stood in silence again for a while simply holding onto each other and her sobs slowly faded and the tears dried.

She pulled away then slightly and looked into his worrying eyes. All the love she felt for him was reflected in his blue eyes.

"You really waited for me?" she asked disbelieving.

He touched his forehead to hers. "Of course I did."

She leaned up and softly touched his lips with her own. He reacted to the kiss immediately deepening it. They poured all the emotions they both felt into the kiss, it was passionate and sweet, hungry and soft, all combined in one kiss. But most of all it was filled with love.

They only parted when they heard the door behind them open and Sam and Callen came outside. They both smiled happily when they saw their teammates in a tight embrace. Kensi and Deeks parted but didn't lose all contact.

"If we had known who the female agent is that Granger send for support we wouldn't have argued with Hetty," Callen said as a greeting before he hugged Kensi.

Sam hugged her, too, lifting her off the floor in the tight embrace.

"Good to have you back Kens," he said.

"You didn't know I was coming?" Kensi asked them all.

"No, Hetty just told us Granger decided we need female support," Callen explained.

"Oh, sorry then," she started apologizing.

"Hey, hey, nothing to be sorry about, it's not your fault," Sam said.

"Are you okay?" Callen asked for she still looked a little shaken. She leaned into Deeks heavily.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered out of habit. All three men looked at her in disbelief. She smiled at their combined concern. "Okay, to be honest, I just want to go home, take a long bath and sleep in my own bed," she admitted.

"Usually, I would insist on debriefing in OSP but I guess you have an excuse tonight. If Hetty starts arguing… well, I don't really care right now" Callen stated. "Deeks, take her home and make sure she gets some rest."

"For once, I won't argue with this," Deeks said his humorous side finally coming back in place.

They parted ways but all four were more than happy that their team was finally complete again.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I would like to take the time to say a HUGE thank you for all the nice reviews. You guys are truly awesome! When I started this story I intended it to be a small one-shot, two chapters max, but somehow I keep on writing on this and I always come up with new ideas how to continue. So this is chapter 5 already even though it's just a few words as a filler, not sure how many more will follow.**

* * *

Kensi and Deeks got into his car in silence. Deeks thought about this evening. He never expected to see her tonight but he couldn't be happier. But how will the night end? Should he just drive her home? Should he stay with her? Should he give her some space to be alone? He knew what he wanted but what did she want? Sure, she had kissed him earlier and seemed to be happy to be back, to be with him but she also said she wanted to be home and sleep in her bed.

"Kensi?" he asked tentatively.

"Mmh" She sat in the passenger's seat with her eyes closed, her head leaning against the window.

"Do you want to get something to eat on the way or shall I just take you home?" He wanted to give her the opportunity to decide. He didn't want to put any pressure on her, he wanted to let her take the lead, let her decide what she wanted to do next.

She opened her eyes and turned to him just looking at him for a few moments. She bit her lower lip fighting an internal battle. She couldn't decide if she should just say what she actually wanted.

"Deeks, I… uhm… I would…" she looked down at her hands suddenly scared and nervous. What if she wanted too much? She couldn't just ask him, could she?

They stopped at a red light and he turned to her, too.

"Kensi just tell me… I'll do anything…" he was pleading with her. He just wanted to help her feel better. He put his hand under chin making her look up at him. This gesture and his words gave her the reassurance she needed now.

"I would rather like to go to your place instead of mine. I just want to be close to you right now," she admitted softly.

He was shocked but also pleasantly surprised to hear her say what she wanted so openly especially that she wanted him. A small smile played at his lips.

"Your wish is my command, princess," he teased her hoping to bring a smile to her face. She didn't disappoint him.

The car behind them honked and Deeks reluctantly turned his attention back to the road but he couldn't resist grabbing her hand and bringing it to his lips softly kissing her knuckles. They drive in a comfortable silence now heading to his apartment together.


	6. Chapter 6

**So, here's my last chapter to this story. I'm sorry that this last chapter took so long but it took me a while to come up with a nice ending. Hope you like it and thanks again for the great reviews. They kept me going! Enjoy!**

* * *

When they entered Deeks' apartment Kensi sighed relieved, she instantly felt better being in this familiar place. She looked around for any changes but she couldn't find any which was a good thing.

"Nothing really changed around here," she said as if it were a surprise.

"No, it just felt empty without you here," he admitted.

She smiled at him sweetly.  
"What do you wanna do now?" Deeks asked her still not sure about what's right and what's wrong at the moment.

"I would like to take a shower first," she answered.

"Sure, I'll go grab some take-out then," he said happy that she felt so at ease here.

"NO," she said suddenly, panic in her voice. "I mean… could we order pizza or something?"

He went over to her encircling her waist with his arms. He smiled seeing right through her.  
"You know, I'm not going anywhere," he reassured her. "That's my place after all," he added teasingly.

"Okay"

"But if you feel better then we can order pizza, too. As long as I get something to eat 'cause I'm starving."

"Okay," she repeated. "I'll go take that shower now but I need you to… ehm… could you borrow me some clothes?"

"Sure, go ahead and get yourself a shirt or whatever you want."

"Thanks," she said softly placing a light kiss on his cheek before she turned to go to the bathroom.

Never in a million had he thought or dared to hope that she would come back and be like this. She was so open about what she wanted, she touched and even kissed him without thinking about it. He was impressed, surprised but most of all happy about this development. If she had made up her mind about their thing while she had been gone and it resulted in her being like this he would gladly go along with it. It was all he ever wanted. He had still hated the past three months without her but this now felt good and right.

He smiled happily before he grabbed the phone off the coffee table.  
"Hey Kensi, what do you wanna have?" he yelled in the direction of his bedroom. He could hear her rummage around in his dresser drawers.

"Just get me the usual," she yelled back. Moments later he heard the bathroom door close.

* * *

When Kensi came out of the bathroom half an hour later she was dressed in one of his LAPD shirts and some sweatpants, her hair was still wet from the shower. She plopped down on the couch next to Deeks who had been watching TV. Two pizza boxes sat on the coffee table next to a six-pack of beer.

"You feel better now?" Deeks asked her.

"Yes, much better and I didn't know I was hungry until I smelled the pizza out here."

They ate in silence for some minutes just enjoying the moment of being back together.  
"So, how have you been these past months," Deeks asked eventually.

"I can't tell you anything about the mission." She decided to go with the safe version. She wasn't sure what to say about how she really had been, apart from the mission. But as usual he didn't let her go.

"I'm not talking about the mission, Kens. I know, you can't tell me anything and to be honest, I don't really care either. I want to know how _you _have been. I mean, after all that happened before your departure." He was nervous because even though her actions so far should kind of reassure him but he didn't know what she would tell him.

"Not good… I missed the team… my normal work," she looked down at her hands and added quietly, "most of all I missed you. What about you?"

She wanted to hear his answer even though she was afraid to hear it. She had told him she wanted to go to his place and he hadn't refused but there was still this little voice in her head that unsettled her.

"Well, if I were you I wouldn't talk to Sam and Callen about it. I think I drove them a little crazy." He talked around the core as well.

"What do you mean by that?"

'Okay, here you go, one of us has to start being honest' he thought. He took a deep breath as if he was supposed to jump of a cliff.  
"I was miserable without you," he started. "I didn't function properly without you by my side. It got a little better though when I slept at your place." That got her attention instantly. He actually didn't want to say this aloud.

"You did what?" she asked disbelieving.

Now he had had to tell her everything.  
"Well, about two weeks after you were… gone… we had a case involving a little boy that got to me somehow. Usually, you would have been there for me. We would talk about it and you would make me feel better. But you weren't there so I somehow ended up at your place that night. I hope you're not mad at me?" He looked at her then but all he could see were her beautiful eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Of course, I'm not mad. I'm just sorry, I wasn't there for you." Again, she simply hated Granger for what he did to her, to them.

"Don't be, it wasn't your fault. You didn't have a choice." She just nodded still feeling bad for him. "At least I could go to your place for comfort. You had nowhere to go, did you?" Someone to go to, he really wanted to ask.

"No, I was mostly alone with my thoughts. But this also made me realize some things." 'Now comes the tough part,' he thought. "I can't do this anymore." She said and his world started crumbling around him. She didn't want this, didn't want them. He almost didn't hear what else she said. "I cannot pretend that there isn't something between us anymore. I missed you so much it hurt. I cannot pretend you're just my partner anymore. I want so much more. I really hated this morning after our night together. I wanted to do everything right the next evening but then I had to go and it hurt not being able to tell you everything."

Did she really just say all this?  
"You can tell me now," he said. He needed to hear it from her.

"I want… you. I want us to be together. I want to be with you every day, every night. I know I'm an emotional wreck and I have no idea why you put up with me but…"

"Because I love you," he interrupted her.

"What?" She had been honest with him and she had told him everything he always wanted to hear so now it was his turn.

"You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You are tough and understanding, beautiful and independent, strong and gentle… not to mention hot as hell. You're the sexiest woman on the planet and it drives me crazy how much I love you but not being able to show you," he talked so fast and his heart raced but he added the last words so softly, she could hardly hear it. "I love you Kensi."

She flew into his arms and their lips met in a passionate and hungry kiss. He pulled her even closer to him and lay back so that she was lying on top of him. They kissed passionately for some minutes the silence only interrupted by their moans. Her hands found their way into his hair while his hands roamed over her back. They pulled apart slightly to catch their breaths watching each other with a smile.

"I love you, too and I really, really missed you," she stated.

"I missed you, too Fern and you have no idea how good it feels to have you back like this." He motioned between them indicating their more than intimate position.

"You know how this would feel even better?" she asked her voice sounding seductive all of a sudden.

'God, this woman with her sexy voice will be my undoing one day', he thought.

"I think, I have an idea or two," he answered leaving it open what he meant. He was curious what she had in mind.

"Me too," she said before getting off of him and standing up. She smiled down at him and extended her hand to help him up. "Take me to bed and I'll show you," she told him.

Deeks didn't need any more invitation. He smiled happily before he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

* * *

A long while later they were lying in bed. Deeks was on his back with Kensi cuddled into his side, her head on his shoulder. She stroked his bare chest loving the feeling of their naked skin touching.

"So, what about your frozen lake now?" he asked absentmindedly stroking her bare back.

"I think it's more like the Caribbean Sea now," she captured his mouth in another breathtaking kiss and he couldn't help the moan that escaped. He pulled her on top of him in a fluid motion.

"Sounds good to me. What do you think about a vacation there?" he asked after the thought had suddenly crossed his mind.

"Mmh, you and me, a beach cabin and room service? Sounds like heaven."

The end.

* * *

**That's it guys! Hope you liked it 'til the end?! Maybe I'll do a fluffy one-shot with their vacation.**


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